For many Australian mothers, the festive season feels less like a holiday and more like a second, unpaid job. A growing movement of mums is now pushing back against the immense pressure to create a 'perfect' Christmas, choosing instead to 'quietly quit' the most exhausting traditions.
This trend sees mothers consciously scaling back, opting for a bare-minimum Christmas to preserve their mental health and actually enjoy the time with their families. The sentiment is echoing across kitchen tables and social media platforms, as women reject the notion that they must single-handedly manufacture Christmas magic.
The Backlash Against Festive Chores
The rebellion is particularly fierce against one specific tradition: Elf on the Shelf. On TikTok, mothers are sharing videos of themselves abandoning the daily elf-moving duty, with one influencer, Mikaela Ladocki, famously tossing the elf over her shoulder. Her post resonated with thousands, with commenters applauding the move. One mum wrote, "I told my kids it's only for naughty kids that need extra watching," while another declared, "Another job added to my list and I'll expire."
This isn't just anecdotal. Data from breast pump brand Bubka confirms the shift. Their survey of mothers revealed that one in three mums plans to skip at least one Christmas tradition this year. Furthermore, a significant six in ten mothers admitted they are intentionally planning a simpler holiday to reduce their mental and physical load.
Why Mums Are Hitting Pause
According to clinical psychologist Frances Bilbao, founder of Mums Matter, the Christmas period dramatically amplifies the existing mental load carried by mothers. "Christmas amplifies an already uneven distribution of the mental load," Ms Bilbao explained. "At Christmas, that load expands exponentially: gifts, events, school breakups, co-ordinating extended family, travel logistics, food preparation, keeping traditions alive, and managing the emotional needs of children who are overstimulated and overtired."
Alicia Segal, co-founder of Bubka, sees this pushback as a positive change. "Mums are realising they can ask for better," she said. "They can choose rest, boundaries, and have a good day with their kids and their family. It doesn't have to be defined by Santa photos, matching PJs and spending the entire day in the kitchen."
Embracing a Simpler, 'Done' Aesthetic
The retail world is taking note of this new 'mum is done' energy. Kmart's $12 giant tree-topper bow has become an unofficial mascot for the trend – a single, stylish decoration that requires zero fuss. Its popularity is so immense that the item is frequently sold out, symbolising a collective desire for simplicity.
This shift towards a less complicated Christmas isn't born from selfishness, but from a proactive desire to protect family wellbeing. Ms Bilbao emphasises that children benefit more from calm parents than from elaborate traditions. "Children don't need intricately curated traditions; they need present, regulated adults," she said. "A simpler Christmas can actually increase the 'magic' because parents are less stressed and more emotionally available."
For mothers feeling the weight of December, there is hope. As children grow, the dynamic can change. One mother, Leah, shared that she now manages festive stress by having two Christmas trees: a nicely decorated one for herself and a 'kids' tree' her children can decorate wildly. This simple compromise allows the whole family to enjoy the tradition without conflict, proving that a quieter Christmas doesn't have to mean a less joyful one.
