Whatever you do, don’t mention the L-word. The official line from Downing Street is that Keir Starmer will remain prime minister for the next 10 years. Possibly longer. In the course of which he will be beatified by the pope, pick up the Nobel peace prizes that Donald Trump should have won, find a cure for cancer and lead the country into a new age of prosperity. The greatest UK leader of any age. Someone who makes Winston Churchill and Margaret Thatcher look second rate. A man who can even get Tony Blair to stop talking about himself.
Only that’s not quite the way it looks to the rest of us. What we see is a man who senses his time is running out. He’d hate you to notice, but Keir is after a few quick wins to cement his legacy. To guarantee he is remembered for at least a short while after he resigns.
The Fear of Being Forgotten
He doesn’t want to be that guy in the Remembrance Day lineup of prime ministers past and present that no one remembers. The irony would be crushing. Nor does he want to be like Rishi Sunak. Memorable only for failing to carry an umbrella for his resignation speech in Downing Street. Cue one drowned rat and an expensive suit totally ruined.
Even Liz Truss has a legacy. It may not be one she particularly wants. Bankrupting the country and only lasting 49 days in office – you can actually make that 39, as 10 of those were a period of state mourning for the queen during which she was prevented from doing any further damage – was probably never on Radon Liz’s wishlist. But at least she will never be forgotten. Long after Truss has died she will remain the bad joke in endless pub quizzes. Never in the whole field of public office has so much harm been done to so many by so few.
Starmer’s Problematic Legacy
Starmer’s legacy has been rather more problematic. Because he hasn’t really done that much. His main crime has been mediocrity. Not actively bad, like some prime ministers, but still a bit disappointing. When he promised change before the last election, many dared to believe him. His most notable achievement has been to U-turn on many of his policies despite having been elected with a majority of 170. He now claims getting rid of the two-child benefit cap as his finest hour. Conveniently forgetting he initially wanted to keep it and suspended the whip of Labour MPs who voted to remove it.
But time is not on Keir’s side. The polls suggest that Andy Burnham is on course to win the Makerfield byelection in just over 10 days’ time and the “king of the north” isn’t about to give up being mayor of Greater Manchester just to serve as a loyal backbencher for Project Starmer. So Keir may only have a few months to grab a few headlines. To make sure he is remembered in perpetuity.
Thinking Big, But Not His Style
Here you reckon that Starmer could make a start by taking a leaf out of the Trump playbook. Think big. The Donald is planning to put his mugshot on a new $250 bill: Keir should double that. Put his face on a new £500 note. The ideal hedge against inflation. And with a brand new slogan. Making a “Monkey” out of a “Starmer”.
Keir could also start splashing his name on national buildings. Stonehenge is just a little prosaic. Downbeat. Make it the Keir Starmer Stonehenge Experience. Same with Buckingham Palace. The place is virtually unoccupied since Queen Elizabeth died. Keir could take it over and move in. A home for distressed former prime ministers. Le Palais de Buckingham et Starmer. It’s time for Keir to think big. Not hope that one day someone decides to name a new radiography suite at St George’s hospital after him.
Better still, Starmer could actively lean in to trolling the US president on a grand scale. Go for a few Love Actually moments. That would win him the respect of not just most of the UK but the rest of the world with it. Maybe tell JD Vance and Pete Hegseth to butt out of issues they don’t understand. Come back and talk to us about immigration and knife crime when you’ve managed to stop your own citizens from shooting one another.
What He Actually Did
Sadly, this just isn’t Keir’s style. He’s never going to be a prime minister to go out with panache. He’s always been more of a plodder. So early Monday morning found him making a speech at London Tech Week. Most of which was instantly forgettable. You could sense the heads going down after just a few minutes and there were 20 more to go. “Tech must be used as a force for good.” No shit, Sherlock.
Just before the end we got to the key point. Keir was putting big tech on notice that it had to put measures in place to stop children accessing and uploading sexually explicit content on to their phones and laptops. This was going to be his legacy. We knew this because he had said he was going to do it two years ago and had never got round to it. Hadn’t wanted to upset the tech bros. Just in case they decided they didn’t like him after all.
Here was the kicker. Starmer was going to give the tech firms three months to get their act together. And if they didn’t then he would be introducing legislation to force them into it. It was all very Keir. The right idea but a bit underwhelming. Because big tech is never going to do anything unless it is legally obliged to do so. Their whole raison d’etre is to keep kids and adults hooked on their devices for as long as possible. Not to block access.
As for the three-month notice period? That was pure optimism. Because Keir may not still be in Downing Street in September. So his legacy would end up being Burnham’s. And that too would be very Keir. His legacy to be The Man Who Wasn’t There.
